Assault with sex toy

According to the St. Petersburg Times, a woman was arrested last week and charged with “simple battery” for “poking” her boyfriend with her “pink sex toy”. As one commenter astutely points out, if the roles had been reversed and the boyfriend assaulted the girlfriend with a sex toy, he would have been charged with attempted rape, etc. so it is fair that she was arrested for battery, regardless of how ridiculous her weapon of choice. The story also states that the toy-wielding woman was intoxicated at the time of the altercation, begging the question how wasted do you have to be to reach for a pink freaking sex toy if you want to dish out some whup-ass?!

The moral? Assault is bad, but assault with a sex toy is just uncomfortable for everyone.

Naked man in cemetary

A 51 year old man arrested for walking naked through a cemetery. He took off his clothes in his truck because his underwear was wet. He decided to visit his in-laws grave and needed to check on some flowers. He didn't have his glasses so he needed an up close view. But he didn't think to put his clothes back on before exiting the truck. An off duty police officer was jogging past and got a full frontal and rear view.

         The man was arrested and charged with indecent exposure.

RESTROOM

J. Stephen O'Laughlin Memorial Restroom

J. Stephen O'Laughlin Memorial Restroom

Talk about leaving a lasting impression! You've just got to check out the J. Stephen O'Laughlin Memorial Restroom at Waldo's Pizza in Kansas City. This audaciously bold farewell gesture was supposed to be Joel's swan song, a way for his pizza slinging days to be remembered in the employee bathroom after he'd quit to seek fame and fortune in California. The idea germinated when Joel, suffering from a bought of the flu, got a fever-enhanced vision for the memorial bathroom. Thinking his idea was brilliant, if not quite mad, he set about gathering mementos of his not-very-distinguished life, framing them, and then making up museum-type placards describing his egocentric flotsam. His next challenge was to covertly mount the exhibits so as not to alert his boss as to his intentions. Enlisting the help of fellow employees, he got the memorial installed by having his cohorts distract the boss during Joel's going-away party. When the boss used the restroom the next day, he had what Joel describes as a "humorously surreal experience". The exhibits stayed put and evolved, according to Joel, "like a virus in a petri dish". His friends added things like a biography, a newspaper clipping lauding Joe's candidacy for Waiter of the Year, a polka dot floor, fluorescent ceiling, disco balls, and hot-pepper Xmas lights. Today it remains an entertaining chronicle of an ordinary, if eccentric man's life. And Joel is back at his old job, having added a pair of singing fish, a doorbell, a fountain, and a library to his memorial restroom.

J. Stephen O'Laughlin Memorial Restroom, located at WAldo Pizza, 7433 Broadway, Kansas City, MO 64114; [816 363 5242]. Optimal viewing times Sun-Thurs 2:00pm-4:00pm. Offerings for the shrine appreciated.

A moustache is like melting cheese

moustache club